DARKNESS

I can only see the darkness, I try to climb out, and I try to reach the end of this tunnel. I can see the light, I am almost there. The ghosts try to stop me, the wind almost knocks me out and water drowns me, but I know I can make it, at least I hope I can.  I reach out, one more step and I am out. But, it pulls me back, I struggle, I shout, I scream but in vain. It’s powerful, more powerful than my will, I can’t fight it anymore, I submit to its strength and it takes spiraling me back to my darkness. Another day gone in vain. My depression had won again.

The dictionary simply defines depression as- feelings of severe despondency and dejection. But, what we need to realise is that depression is not simply a feeling of dejection or despondency, it is much more than that. It cripples one’s mind and leaves one with no life or soul.

A psychologist usually defines Depression as- a period of severe bad mood accompanied by loss of pleasure in any activity, changes in weight, social withdrawal, feeling of regret and guilt, and suicidal tendencies.

For a depressed individual getting up every morning becomes a challenge. For him or her life is worthless and hold no meaning or purpose to him. He can be compared to the living dead or the ones with no soul. Depression is also accompanied my negative thoughts which further brings out the individual. All one can think about are his mistakes. The person is surrounded by darkness which slowly starts to engulf him. He reaches out but to no avail.

Depression can be called the cancer of the mind, however it is harder to treat. One of the main reasons for that is lack of support or social acceptance. To make matters clearer- if someone recently had a bad break up and she is depressed, most of us just laugh it off and say that time will heal everything. We believe that the cure for depression is going out with friends or just simply giving it time. We fail to understand its severity and hence, depression goes unrecognized till it reaches a level where the person may take a drastic step to get out of it. In many countries, especially India, most choose not to even reveal that they have depression as they already know the reactions- ‘oh no, you are not depressed, it happens with everyone. Give it time and go out to enjoy’ or ‘get a hobby, don’t think about it. Distract yourself’ or ‘these things happen all the time. Think about the people who can’t eat, are you worse off than them’. Hence, aware of all these reactions the victim (yes depression is a killer) puts on a fake smile and goes about his life, and all of his near and dear are unaware of the battle going on within him. ALSO- a) Time doesn’t always heal depression- therapy does b) it’s hard to distract yourself as no matter how hard you try, the thought keep recurring back to you. It’s not that easy c) for a depressed person others don’t matter, for him his biggest problem is his own problem. Asking one to think about if they are worse off than a said group does not solve the problem. In some cases it makes the matter worse as now he starts to question himself-‘I know they are worse off, and my problem is so small relative to theirs’, then why can’t I get out of this?’ all these questions increases the turmoil within him and makes him feel selfish and uneasy.

Contrary to believe depression can strike anyone and anytime. A person may be depressed because of a loved one’s death or maybe due to a break up. With the growing use of social media cyber bullying and the need for public validation also leads to depression. The reason of depression can be anything, it depends on the person’s mental strength, past experiences and resources available. In India the academic pressure on students also leads to many developing depression.

Psychologists believe that there are some factors that predispose depression-

• Hereditary
• Genetic make up
• Gender ( women are more likely to be depressed)
• Age ( middle age for men and twenty’s or women)
• Past experiences

And

• Lack of social support

The statistics in India suggest that depression in on the rise I the country. The National Crime Records Bureau (NCRB) statistics reveal that a total of 1, 35,445 people committed suicide in 2012 which amounts to an average of 15 suicides an hour or 371 suicides daily. Maharashtra ranked second on the suicide index with Tamil Nadu topping it. These numbers are jarring as it shows how much depression or mental health is neglected in India. The lack of proper institutes aggravates the problem. The suicide helpline are also futile as like our police (100) no one ever picks up.

India recorded the highest rate of major depression in the world, at 36 per cent, and Depression affects over 120 million people worldwide. It can interfere with a person’s ability to work, make relationships difficult, and destroy quality of life. In severe cases it leads to suicide, causing 850,000 deaths a year. It is reported that 26, 00, 00,000 in India suffer from mental disorders.

To find a solution to depression, we need to treat it like we treat any other chronic disease. One needs to understand that it is nothing to be afraid or shames of. To cure depression we first need to cure our attitude towards it. We need to be on a look out for early signs of depression and make sure we support the person rather than advise him or her as to how to combat it. We need to empathise and not sympathise with the victim, and most importantly we should take him or her to a therapist immediately.

If we ourselves is facing depression then we need to understand is that-

·         It is not embarrassing and not something to be ashamed.

·         It can happen to anyone. You are not alone

·         One should seek help immediately

Also I would like to end this post by saying to all those who are depressed or sad or feeling hopeless is- keep trying and never give up. You are not alone in this. You are a beautiful soul so try not to lose hope and fight that demon and show it that you are the boss and you and only you has the right to control your mind and no one else. And I know one day, soon enough you will take a step out of that darkness and into that light and on that day nobody can pull you back into the abyss.

 

 

SHACKLED

 

“She is the reason that we have men,

                                            She is the reason for life on the earth,

She is the bud to every flower, then

                                               Why she is still tortured, then why

Does she still have to struggle to

                                        Get the right”

In our very own country- India we shout with pride that how our country is the largest and most successful democracy in the world, we claim of liberty and equality among all, we claim of equality before the law for all; yet in this very country still now women are living in darkness afraid to come out and voice their opinion, they are still treated like toys in the hands of the alpha male. From time immemorial women have been discriminated, the jobs of men and women have always been demarcated with men working in fields and in public companies while women expected to make food, look after home and bear kids. In India women have been treated badly since a long time. From the practice of sati to the veil system and even polygamy have scared the dignity and the confidence of women. In this country especially, women have been always been asked to worship their husbands.

In India, many women who want to work and have their own identity are mostly suppressed by her own family members, or her in laws or maybe even her husband. In India it is somehow never the men’s mistake, even if a girl is sexually molested it is said to be a girl’s mistake. It is amazing how politicians defend the molester by saying that it was the girl’s fault as she had supposedly lured the man, here the question arises, which girl asks a man to sexually molest her?

The Khap panchayats in India are the most surprising community in India, it is not surprising that they exist, it is surprising that they are allowed to exist. These panchayats openly support child marriage and even ask women to stop using mobile phones, as apparently that is the main reason for all the molestation cases and girls going astray.

Every day there are articles of rape, molestation, harassment or domestic violence. For a few days media is all about these women, about their plight and then there are massive protests and young men and women marching with slogans and candles and then again after maybe two three days all of us are back to our normal routine and the media is again all about either the politicians or which Bollywood star said what to the other. Everything is back to normal but will those women ever be able to live a normal life; what happens to these women?

It seems that no girl is safe in this perverted country, where no matter how the boy looks, whatever he has done, how horrible or useless he is, he is still a man and will always be the golden bird of the country. Even schools are not safe, children as young as 3 year olds are harassed in schools. There are still many families in India some even educated who practice female foeticide. Especially in the states of Punjab, Haryana and Jammu and Kashmir the rate of female foeticide is very high. Annually one million females in India are aborted. Female not only face discrimination in this culture, they are even denied the right to be born. They are denied the right to education as well as most parents believe that daughters are meant to be married off and they don’t even have the capacity and ability to take care of her parents by earning a living. That is why most parents educate their sons and not daughters as they know that any way she will be married off, she is not even given a chance to prove herself and to show that even she is just not born to be married off.

The Khap panchayats claim that marrying off these women is the only way to save them from being molested and there ‘lovely’ husbands who may be as old as 60 years will take good of care of them and protect them. However, the reports of domestic violence in India is shocking. There are millions of women in this country who are beaten and even molested by their husbands each day. These women suffer probably the worst kind of attacks as they have no choice but to live with this person as they are married to him and getting a divorce would scar the reputation of the girl and her family. Still now dowries are common in this country and if dowry is not given then the consequence is usually that the wife is flogged badly sometimes even killed. Every day there are some way or the other that a women is discriminated and made to feel inferior. In this country all women have faced discrimination at least once in her life. For example- in many schools, girls are not allowed to play football because it is a man’s game, in the work place a women is mostly called not capable, every day a girl is eve teased or called various harassing names, even in our very own film industry the female actors are paid less than the male actors even though they have the same amount of scenes.

It is even more saddening to know that women are not only discriminated by the men but by their own female relatives including their own mothers who ask their own daughters to leave their education and take up household chores, who make sure that her son gets more amount of food than her daughter and who teach their daughters to wear proper clothes but fail to teach their sons to see the women with respect.

But, the change is slowly coming, the women of this country are braving the odds and pushing away the barriers, they are speaking up and letting the society know that they too have an individual identity and an individual voice. The women are now mothers, sisters, daughters, business women, fashion designers, world leaders, wives, sportswomen, army officers, doctors and what not. The women just need to put in a bit of effort and break in this male dominated world as only a women can help herself and break the shackles, and there is no doubt that women are powerful as only a woman has the strength to support another life and give birth to her.

The smiley thumb award

Hello,

A lovely new award has been doing rounds, which goes by the name- THE SMILEY THUMB AWARD( as is evident from the pictures)

I have been nominted by the wonderful Savio. You can go to his blog by clicking on this link https://theextraaamile.wordpress.com ( I highly recommend it )

 

So the rules are as follows:

1.- Show your new cool award logo pasted on the top

2.- Thank whoever nominated you and provide a link to their blog.

3.- Tell us what makes you smile.

4.- Select other blogs you want to give the award to. How many is up to you.

5.- Copy and paste the rules.

 

What makes me smile?

-Firstly, being nomiated for this award makes me smile.

-Writing makes me smile

-Reading other’s blogs make me smile

-Reading a book and getting lost in it makes me smile

-Seeing a genuine smile on someone’s face makes me smile

-Helping others makes me smile

-Songs and beautiful movies make me smile

-A cute puppy on the road makes me smile

– Women not conforming to the standards of the society make me smile

-My family and friends make me smile

– My parents asking me help in technology makes me smile

-Seeing Bayern Munich and Germany win makes me smile

-Meeting new people and travelling(discovering new places) makes me smile.

There  are so so many other things that fill my heart with joy and makes me want to appreciate my life. But writing all of them could take me centuries

If I could then I would nominate every single blogger I know, but alas that is not possible as I have a finite amount of time( Blame it on my upcoming entrances #lifeafter12th)

So here are the ones i want to nominate- https://mysestina.wordpress.com/

http://thelonelyauthorblog.wordpress.com/

http://bluedice.wordpress.com/     http://teengirlmeetsworld.wordpress.com/

http://wordedink.wordpress.com/

http://transcendenceishere.wordpress.com/

P.s- I am still new to this blogging world, so i dont know how to exactly nominate, so i decided to paste the links.

 

Thank you and keep smiling

 

BRUISED, BATTERED AND PARALYZED

 

20^TH March 2013 was like any other Wednesday to me. Getting up, having my breakfast and taking my daily dose of aspirin, by which I am referring to reading the newspaper.

I usually look into the sports page first, but that day nothing interesting took place in the world of sports. I then turned the page to update myself about the happenings around the globe, and one particular article grabbed my attention. The article was about Iraq. It gave an insight into the bruised and bloodied Iraq. The country that once boasted of early civilisations and modernisations, had now become crippled with violence and innumerable civil wars.

I have always been interested in the Middle East, especially the countries where wars are as common as hot dogs in the United States. I wanted to go into Iraq or Syria and peek into the lives of these poor innocents who are caught in the middle of this violence. I too wanted to feel like them to understand them better, to understand the fear that they have. But as I read through the article, chills ran down my spines as it read that since 2003 over 4,804 soldiers and 122,000 civilians (figures according to 2013) had died in the collision that had taken place between the US and the Iraqi army (US had invaded Iraq as it believed that Iraq possessed Weapons of Mass Destruction. No such weapons were found). The war had taken over many lives and made Iraq a battle ground for conflicts. Since then civil wars are regular occurrences due to a weak government and the heavy presence of American soldiers is not really appreciated by the citizens.

DUE TO THE IRAQ WAR

Iraq has been bombed, fired and destroyed. This had actually started with Saddam Hussain, as most of us know about the Operation Desert storm (once again led by the US), which successfully overthrew the autocratic dictator. Saddam Hussain was no saint as he himself had a notorious reputation of killing and torturing many women, men and children (mostly Kurdish, whom he believed did not belong in Iraq). The USA took advantage of this terror embedded in the citizens’ minds and ‘helped’ them to get rid of Saddam Hussain (while pursuing their main agenda of acquiring oil from the oil rich Iraq). US then placed its own government in Iraq.

Since then there has been minor conflicts leading to several deaths. Due to such disturbances, a lack of a strong government and dissatisfaction among the citizens of Iraq, the country has now become a hub for extremist/ terrorist organizations.The frustration with their own government, the inactivity of the United Nations and the precarious state of their living conditions has also compelled many young men to join such organizations, maybe in the hope for revenge(many still hold America responsible for their present condition), or maybe in hope for a better life. The fast growing jihadi organization- ISIS has also captured significant parts of the city and carry out frequent bombings and tortures. The Iraqi women are also sold as sex slaves to this organization(this particular topic deserves a whole another article). The violence spares no one- it has orphaned many kids, snatched children from their parents, separated husbands and wives, sisters and brothers. Every Iraqi lives in fear about their unpredictable future. Think about it- someone tells you that you MAY die, there is no surety, no time given, just that you most probably will die any time. How will you feel?

DUE TO TERRORIST ACTIVITIES

 

Every Iraqi lives in this fear EVERY SINGLE DAY. Many can even distinguish between the sound of a commercial plane and that of a terrorist airplane.

As I read the article, I found myself asking- where was the United Nations now? Why aren’t they acting upon it?

At that time I couldn’t help but wonder about the future of Iraq, and now after 3 years the condition has deteriorated. The terrorists have made it their safe haven, the US doesn’t seem willing to leave, there is no strong government needed to rule a country and violence has only increased. I believe that even the Iraqis have stopped dreaming of a better world. They have reached acceptance, and who can blame them? All they have ever known is a life of torture and sorrow and the uncertainty of life and death, quite literary.

Through this article I don’t want to invoke a sense of sympathy for them, I want to make people aware of the country and the people who lack a voice. I want the children of that country to have a chance at life and have dreams of their own, I want happy families and peace as is deserved by every human who walks on this earth.